6 Feet of dirt make all Gangstas Equal

Six feet of dirt.........Make all Gangsta's equal.

"To be concious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge"-Benjamin Disraeli

I wish I had been concious of my ignorance on may 3rd,1992.

I had just gotten out of jail that morning and I was now showing up for work that afternoon.


I walked in , shaved head, green dickie suit , Nike Cortez and proceeded to punch the time clock.
I was working part-time at a grocery store doing produce.
I was also working part-time robbing houses.
I didn't give a damn about anyone but myself and the Homies , they were more important than my family.
They in fact became my family.
And it wasn't because my parents didn't raise me right or show me enough love,I was just like most teens throughout our existence on this earth....Greedy and self-centered.

After I clocked in ,my manager comes up and says "Go to the back of the store man !"
I said "For What?"
"I'll tell you in a few minutes,hurry up and go!"
So I did,I was thinking the cops were there looking for me.

A few minutes went by and I went back on the floor to see what was up.
He told me this girl had brought her brothers in to see what I looked like.
"For what ?" I asked, He then told me "They think you were there when her husband got killed"!

"I wasn't there man!"

"Well, there after you so watch your back"!

Now let's rewind to how my manager knew for me to go to the back of the store in the first place.

A short while prior to this , A co-worker was having a get together at his apartment.
His complex was across the street from my job.

So I showed up and when I was coming up the stairs I saw my manager talking to this chick...

I said what's up and went inside and started drinking.

When he came in , he started telling me that he liked this girl , So I was like , Handle your buisness man!
This dude was real uptight and I honestly thought if he got with a girl , he would relax a lil ....

So I'm at the table with a beer in my hand telling him he needs to hook up with this girl ....

Then he says ...
" I don't know man , her husband got killed last year "

So then I switched it up , and began telling him to be cool and handle the situation with class because she had been through a lot of trauma already ... Basically , Don't use this woman ... If you like her , treat her right.

Then we started talking and drinking a lil more and he started giving me more details.

Then I put two and two together ...

" My homeboy killed that dude ! I know who you are talking about ! "

Being young and buzzed up , I blurted this out to my manager and told him the story.

The short version is this ...

A guy that was in the same gang I was , got into some beef and ended up killing this other dude , who happened to be the husband of the girl my manager was now trying to holla at.

The shooter was sentenced to ten years in the pen and the family of the victim was outraged.
Looking back , I can clearly understand why ...

Like I said , I knew the shooter ...
I went to school with him , Junior high ...
We rode skateboards , played Nintendo , shot hoops at Hugh Smith and within a few short years of those innocent times, we were both gang bangin and stealing.

But he ends up killing someone.

I wasn't there, I did not have a thing to do with it.
Didn't matter, My name got thrown in the mix anyhow and since the triggerman and myself were in the same gang , I guess that made me just as guilty in there eyes.

Shortly after it happened , I had two dudes that lived on my street and were supposedly in the same gang as the one who got shot walk up on me one day ...
They said they had heard I thought it was funny that the dude got murdered ...
I looked them both in the eyes and told them I never said anything like that ... Because I hadn't.
They said cool and walked off and that was that ... I didn't understand why they were questioning me...

Then there was another person...
We were cool with each other but he was also affiliated with the victims supposed gang and we were fighting with the gang he was in.
He called me one night telling me they were bringing in a dude from Cali to kill me , he said they wanted my head...

I had no earthly idea where all this was coming from , how MY name got so involved in something I was not a part of...

Matter of fact , I was with the shooters best friend and a couple other guys when we found out that our friend had killed someone.

We were riding around lsitening to music and smoking out and having a good time when we got the news.
We were all in shock ... Especially his best friend ... We couldn't believe it.
Now it had went from friends becoming gangstas and burglars to someone we knew actually commiting homicide ...
Hearing that had a serious impact on us ...

He took it to that other level ... A very tragic level.
Now a man is dead and our friend is going to prison.
All this happened with him in April of 91.

"You are known by the company you keep" Remember that!


Now the widow of that murdered man was a couple apartments over from where I was sitting ...

And now my manager has some information to share ...

Did he set me up ?

I don't think so , I think he just told her what he knew and she called her brothers from there.
I do not believe he intentionally told her about me to have me killed.

Did he run his mouth and betray my trust in him ? Ofcourse ...

Then again ... I should have never opened MY mouth , Youth and alcohol were to blame on my part .
I am not really sure what his motives were ...

And that is how my manager knew to send me to the back of the store when her and her family walked in...

Now let's travel back to Sunday , May 3rd , 1992...

It's now around 8:00pm...

On my break , I went out into a foyer in the front of the store to use the payphone.
I called my girl and was telling her I needed to get a gun.
I didn't have a gun because I was mentally unstable and I would have used it on myself and my woman knew that , so she talked me out of getting one several times.

We were already fighting with a gang and I am being warned Gangstas from Cali wanna kill me and now I had these people after me ... I had just gotten out of jail , I am still waiting to go to court for burglary of habitation and before all this , we had fought these other cats and a dude who was with us used brass knuckles , Now all involved in the fight are also looking at an Assault with a deadly weapon charge because of him ... I had been in a mental institution the month before and now I needed to get my hands on a gun for real because this was all starting to crumble around me.


So I am on the payphone telling my girl about the gun situation when this big fool walks in..
Straight mad-doggin me...

I knew immediately it was the widow's brother ...
So in my mind I know I am about to throw down with this dude and it's about to happen very quickly...

He walked straight up to me and said "Are you Scott Johnson?"

I said "Yeah man" and I told my girl I'd call her back , Like I said , I knew we were about to fight.

But before I could hang up the phone,he pulled out a Rambo style knife and started jabbing me with it as fast as he could.

#1 and #2 go inside my back, #3 into my left lung, #4 pierces my liver...
This all happened to me in about 6 or 7 seconds.


I gave him a solid left hook to his jaw and he stumbled back against a rail.
I stood over him throwing punches with everything in me...
This is when he drove the knife straight into my stomach , which made stab wound #5.

My vision turned completely red.

After a second or two when I could see again,I punched him again and this time he swung back with his right hand.
And that is when #6 went buried to the handle in the left side of my cheek.
I believe he was aiming for my throat ... an inch or so lower and he would have reached his goal.
Then he pushed me back and headed for the exit...

I grabbed the back of his shirt with my right hand as he was going out of the door and I was trying like hell to pull the knife out of my jawbone with my left.

I was going to stab him in the back of the head! I was going to kill him.

I was screaming and cussing and trying to pull the knife out of my jaw ,but it would not budge.
I was weak from blood loss,but my adrenaline was raging.

I held onto the back of his shirt by the neck and we ended up outside in the parking lot.
A truck driven by his brother pulled up and he rolled into the back of it .
I looked that demon in the eyes for a split second, He was as scared and shocked as I was.
I wasn't dead yet , the job didn't go as planned.

And as the tires squealed ... My murderer vanished into the darkness.

So here I am with six stab wounds in me, not to mention a hunting knife embedded in my face!
The knife went through my cheek and lodged in my jawbone,leaving the blade inside of my mouth.

Obviously this prevented me from speaking clearly so I started yelling for help the best I could.
And out of nowhere this woman grabbed my arm and started leading me back inside...
WIth a calmness and tenderness that was out of this world...

As I passed the dangling telephone reciever,I picked it up and told my girl "I'll call you later baby" and I hung up the phone.
She had heard everything ...

Now imagine this woman seeing somebody in the shape I was in and remaining perfectly calm and gentle.
This ANGEL continued to lead me inside.
She led me back through the same place I had just been stabbed and then through the automatic doors and into the store.

She helped guide me down as I collapsed on the floor, then I heard the screams.

My manager ran up with this disgusted and shocked look on his face and say's "Ah,Scott,I told you man,I told you"!!!
I just looked at him while I was coughing up blood...

I remember My other co-worker running up and holding his stomach like he was about to vomit.

I remember the lady who worked one of the registers and how horrified her face was ...

Now that I can look back ,I see a dog who has been hit by a car and is dying.
It cannot speak and express it's pain,It can only stare at you as the final breath approaches...

But the eyes... the eyes of the dying speak a million words...

That's how I feel I looked to them.
I could only speak with my eyes ... "This is it man - Why Me?!!!".

Then I saw the head manager of the store run up with the same disgusted look on his face as everyone else.
He said three words that I will never forget....

"It's Gang related".

So here is the OG ...
Coughing and spitting up blood and laying in a literal pool of blood.
I was numb,in shock,I was just staring at everyone's horrified faces and hearing their hollow screams.
I was thinking, this is it man your going to die Scott...
You will never see your family or friends or girlfriend or even your dog again , Everything you love is fading away...

I suddenly realized I had not done anything in this world and I wanted that chance again.
Oh my God ! Give me another chance ! I will appreciate it !

The lady who led me inside had disapered,she was nowhere to be found.
She didn't even come out in the newspapers when they covered the story...
All of that and the fact that she remained perfectly calm and comforting in the midst of bloody chaos is why I believe and say she was a certified angel.

And speaking of angels,The paramedics arrived.
They wrapped my head in bandages,leaving the handle of the knife sticking out.
They took a razor and cut off my clothes leaving me in nothing but my undies ,socks and Nikes...

I kept telling them that my back and stomach were killing me....

When I raised my head and looked at my stomach I saw where the serrated edge of the knife had pulled out some of my intestines ...
They loaded me on a stretcher and rushed me out to the parking lot where careflight was waiting.

As they were pushing me towards the helicopter the cops let my parents through the crowd that had gathered.
I'll never forget the look on my mom's face...Close your eyes and imagine Fear,Shock,Disbelief,Rage and Pain all in one expression.
If you can do that,then you will have an idea of what my mothers face looked like when she saw her only son laying on a stretcher under the blood soaked white sheets with the handle of a knife sticking out of her baby's face...

She was sobbing uncontrollably and saying "Your gonna be alright ,your gonna be alright baby"! Something like that..
But her eyes contradicted her words...
If the eyes are the windows to the soul , her windows were broken.

Careflight flew me to Harris-Methodist Hospital in Ft.Worth and I was rushed into surgery.
I was surrounded by Doctors and Nurses.
I was awake for awhile answering questions while they prepared to operate.

The Doctor looked at me and said "I'm going to pull the knife out of your face now,Scott...
A nurse grabbed my hand and he grabbed the handle with both hands and slowly pulled the knife out of my jawbone.
I was squeezing the nurses hand with everything I had , felt like I could have broken it.
I saw him carry the weapon,drop it in a plastic bag and seal it up.

Then entered the Morphine...

Hours into surgery, the doctor came out and told my parents ,girlfriend and friends , I was bleeding to death and there was nothing more he could do.
He said he had lost me once already and that I was bleeding from so many places the blood was coming out faster than they could put it in.
I had already been through 32 pints of blood and it was not clotting...

My mom grabbed the doctor and begged him not to let me die!

She said take GOD with you,he can pick up where you left off!

The Doctor looked at her and said "He might live another hour" .
That sounds cold-blooded but I guess he didn't see much hope.

My left lung collapsed.
My liver was completely severed.
Some of my intestines were pulled out.
My back muscles were ripped out.
70 percent of the roof of my mouth was taken off.
And to add to the drama the tip of the knife had punctured my carotid artery ,the vessel that carries blood and oxygen to your brain.

God guided the hand of the surgeons and through his grace and their skill I was eventually stable.
But it was a constant struggle for my life...
I was hemmoraging,fighting off infections and raging fevers and I went through another 25-30 pints of blood.
This is all the short version of Hell ...

The morophine kept me physically knocked out,but the nightmares tortured me and kept my mind wide awake.
I had many hallucinations that were so life like I could not tell the difference...

When I was concious enough to know what was going on,I didn't understand how someone could do this to me!
All that Gangsta S*** went out the window , Now I was the victim , Now I was just a 17 year old kid again.
I was mentally raped,depression overtook me again and it took me to a deeper and darker level.
I remember the first time I took a shower in the hospital.
I screamed and cried ... They couldn't stitch me up because of the high risk of infection.
Now my stomach was open from below my belly button up to my chest ... The sight of this was overwhelming for me.

I spent around 3 weeks in the hospital before I was released.
The ride home was terrible ... I felt every bump in the road...
My stomach was still open so we had to go through the painful ritual of cleaning the wounds...

I was still bleeding inside my head from the carotid artery and the doctors had basically said they did not know when I would hemmorage and die , only that I would ...
I could hear a swishing sound in my ear as the blood was being pumped.
Not only was this very scary but it was very irritating...
I had to have another surgery to repair the damage inside of my head ...
And I supposedly still have an aneurism in my face.
But I fully believe I am completely healed.

This bleeding in my head actually kept me out of prison and got me probation when I was able to go to court.
During that time , If I got into a fight and got hit the right way , I would have bled to death and died.
I had a very compassionate lawyer on many levels ... Thank you Sir.

The years have passed and the wounds have healed but what happened that night will never be forgotten.
The scars are a permanent reminder of a life I used to live and choices I made.
The scars are also a reminder that I am a miracle and proof of a higher power.

But I struggled greatly with this at a young age.

Truth be told , I was a criminal and drug abuser who got stabbed to death because of retalliation.
Retalliation for a crime I had nothing to do with.

I now had people all around me telling me that I am a living breathing miracle and God spare my life for a reason.
I coudn't grasp what they were telling me , It was now extra pressure on top of all I was already dealing with.

But the older I got the more I could understand and see the bigger picture and what exactly God had done in my life.
By all accounts I should be dead , I should have been another statistic for that year.

You may be wondering what happened to the dude who did this to me ...

I picked him out of mugshots several times when the police came to the hospital.
He also had his initials tatted on his arm... So that took out some of the guesswork.

The police told my mom they found the truck and they had sprayed some chemical on it that apparently illuminates when there is blood on it... The detective told her my blood was found all over it , in the bed and in the front.

He was arrested on May 15th and was charged with attempted capital murder at the age of 18.
According to newspaper reports he was released four hours later pending a court appearance.

Apparently he missed the court date ...

In febuary of 1993 , I saw him in the newspaper again.

He was involved with several others in the murder of a 14 year old.
The kid was stabbed at least 23 times and was held underneath the water at a small lake in Dallas.
The paper said they killed the kid because they were afraid he might snitch about something they had done .
This happened on June 1st ,less than a month after he stabbed me.

The kid had to be identified by his dental records ...

Now it was I , the former criminal , crying and wondering where the Justice was.
As I am now while I type this . My heart hurts.

Why was this dude set free after four hours when they had evidence he tried to kill me?
My mom was told since there was really no "Eye witnesses" the evidence was circumstantial.

Despite the fact I picked him out , despite the fact someone got a look at the truck and got partial plates , despite the fact when that truck was found it glowed with my blood ... The evidence was just circumstantial.

We were never contacted for anything concerning court and my mother was told by the detectives that they really couldn't hold him for what he did to me but the murder charges from the kid would stick on him.

Had they kept him where he belonged the first time , that kid may have never had to have suffered and died.

A few months after I had gotten out of the hospital , I was parked one night in the car with my pregnant girlfriend.
We were just talking , minding our own business.
Her ex-boyfriend pulls up ,sticks his hand out of the window and starts shooting at me.

He peels out and I chase after him... he lost me.
I end up dropping her off at her house a lil while later and as I am pulling out , he comes out of the shadows and starts chasing me.
My girl screamed and her neighbor comes out , grabs his gun and starts chasing us .
High speed chase through Arlington , apparently at shift change.
There was not a single cop in sight.

I end up losing him and he ends up getting caught and going to the pen.
Not for trying to kill me but for attempted murder on someone else , he was already wanted beforehand...

This dude was in our gang.
He used to be a friend of mine.
We all made some horrible choices during those times.

The stress of all this was overwhelming for my parents.
We ended up finding another house far away from that neighborhood.
My parents just wanted out as quickly as possible.


So we got out ...
And I never heard anything else from the authorities about the man who murdered me .
I believe we were bringing so much hell to the neighborhoods at that time , they may have even felt I got what I deserved.
Who knows the truth...

Years later I heard through the grapevine that some of the family members of my murderer said they made a mistake with me.

I dont think that qualifies as a "My Bad" moment though...

For many years I fantasized about killing that man.

I would dream of different ways to murder him...Revenge consumed me.

Then I looked at the man who stabbed me from his perspective.
He basically came in and sought revenge for the death of his family member...

for years and years this obviously was something that tormented me and due to the violent nature of the act it opened doorways for demons of all kinds...

But I asked myself this , "What if someone killed my brother in law"?

Would I seek revenge? The answer at the time was YES !
I would want to kill whoever took my family member from me and possibly whoever was involved...
Most of us would consider it and many would do it ... Many have done it.

When I put myself in the shoes of the man who did this to me...I saw why he did it.
I am in no way saying I approve of it and I am not saying his action was a correct response...
But I understood the thinking behind it ...
Even though it happened to me , I had matured to the point I could see the motive .
And I forgave him...
I now pray for him...
Honestly speaking , when this book does what it is supposed to do , one day , that man or someone connected to him will eventually read these words ...
I cannot or would not speak on behalf of the other people who suffererd because of this man.
But as for me , I had to let go of the hate...
So if your reading this or you were involved...I forgive you in the name of Jesus Christ.

Wanna hear something tripped out?
This dude and I played together as kids in the early to mid 80's.
We lived in the same apartments ... His sister dated my uncle.
I don't know if he remembered this at the time , I myself didn't find out till later .
I didn't recognize him or the name at first ...
The twist and turns of life never cease to amaze me ...
I also forgave the man who tried to shoot me...
Like I said , we were homies at one time and in the same set , I still pray for him and his family.
He got caught up as a kid and has been in the penal system ever since.
God bless him.

I had to forgive these people and everyone else that had wronged me.

Once I did this , I set myself free from THAT particular bondage and the devil no longer had control of my mind in that area.

The weight that had been on me for so many years had been removed...
The Lord opened my eyes to a whole nother level of maturity and I am very thankfull...
So I say this with all sincerity , PLEASE let that be an example to you and inspire you to forgive whoever has wronged you.

ESPECIALLY if it was just some words...DO NOT LET THE ENEMY SHACKLE YOU ANOTHER SECOND.

Call - email - text -write it down or just let it go from yourself in private if the offending person is no longer around ," I forgive you" ... Get it out somehow and move on with your life.
This does not mean you have to rekindle a relationship , hang out with or even talk to that person ever again.
What it does do is gets that person out of your mind and you free up space for some positive thoughts.

When the enemy tries to bring up the situation again , IMMEDIATELY pray for whoever offended you.
"Lord , Thank you for being with..." And watch how fast the devil flees from you ...Watch the playground clear out...
My friend told me "It is impossible to hate someone your praying for" and he was exactly right...

So I now take the second chance that was given to me and I share my wisdom with you.
I share my wisdom in the hopes that you will learn from my experiences and the horrible choices I made.
I share my wisdom in the hopes that through MY death , you will appreciate YOUR life.

You have a purpose!
God didn't create life for us to waste it.

People will sometimes tell me , "You gotta be tough to survive that"!

But technically , I didn't survive that ...

I fully give all the credit to GOD.

I was just a skinny lil white dude, even the doctor's had given up , what could I have done?
People die from a lot less...

My situation was nothing short of miraculous.
I do not say this with ego , I say it with appreciation.
I am proof a higher power exists...

So if your reading this right now and your claiming a set and you have not been stabbed,shot or beaten yet.
Recognize God has his hand on you and if you do not wake up, it will only be a matter of time before one of the above happens and I didn't even bring in the factor of the law....

I know the saying "Dead or in jail" has lost it's swag ...
But it's still the bottom line in too many lives and must be respected as a truth.

A wise man listens and learns ...
I have robbed houses, did drive-by's, and been to jail and the county more times than I would have ever wanted.
None of it shows toughness , it shows weakness , ignorance and blindness.

In 93 I got sentenced to Ten years of probation and 320 hours of community service for burglary of a habitation and assault with a deadly weapon.

As of 2003 I was fully released from my probation.

I served 10 yrs having to let someone know where I was all the time and I had to live with the fact that if I screwed up again they would send me to prison for the remainder of my time .
I can not blame anything I have suffered or been through on other people because most of my sorrow can be traced back to the choices I made.
And I have dealt with them ... I am still dealing with them.

Ever try and get a good job with a felony on your record?


Think before you act ! Every choice has a consequence... Every choice.

Choose respect and a good name ...
Choose Life ...

Con Respecto...
With Respect...
God Bless...

Scott Johnson
www.scottjohnsononline.com